Old Kate

Chapter One

     Some may say that I write a lot about the death of animals but I prefer to think that I celebrate their lives by painting a picture of the way they lived, their personalities and some of the experiences we shared along the way. So I start this story by saying, “yes, a horse dies at the end of the tale.” But the story is much more than that. Is it an emotional story that might make you cry? Maybe, but it will also make you smile in places because this was one obstinate little mare that could be filled with love for you one moment and the next moment the devil would take up residence inside her and make her do things completely opposite of caring a hoot about you. With Kate, you never knew what to expect. From the look I grew accustomed to seeing in her eye, I don’t think she knew how she would act until it happened and then she would follow through with all she had.

     Kate was a gift for my son Matt on Father’s day. Yeah, I used to give him gifts on Father’s day as well as receive them. See, I figured without him, I wouldn’t be celebrating this hallmark day. She was purchased in Indiana during Matt’s sixth year and was his first horse. She was what is called a tri-colored Paint mare. This means she was white, brown and black but mostly white. She was probably around nineteen to twenty years old. The person that had her said she was nine years old but didn’t know I was fair at aging a horse from their teeth. She was also starting to show some arthritis in her left front leg. But, she was brown-eyed beauty.

     I might as well admit it is a stretch to call Kate a horse and I do so only because of the size of her heart not her stature.  Kate was only 13-3 hands high. So, officially, she was a pony. In the horse world, a hand equals four inches or about the width of four fingers held together. Kate was 13 hands plus three fingers tall at the withers. To be a considered a horse, she would have had to be fourteen hands tall. Her heart made her eighteen hands high and she would proudly let you know it. Most ponies are that way. They have little person syndrome. They make up for size with tons of attitude. I figured she was small enough for Matt to handle and large enough for me to ride for the occasional attitude adjustment. That ended up being a questionable belief on my part.

     The day I gave Kate to Matt was a nice day for the time of year, not too hot and a little breezy. You could see the surprise in his eyes as he accepted responsibility for her future. I saddled her up with the new saddle I had bought for the occasion and Matt rode her that day around the barn lot. I led, given that Matt was a novice, but he rode. I had a lot of fun watching this process, so much fun that at the end of his ride, I decided that I wanted to ride her too.

     Did I bother to tell you that I had had my forth knee surgery two days prior to Father’s Day? I didn’t think so. Looking back on my decision to ride Kate that day, I can say it wasn’t a good idea. However I didn’t have the gift of hindsight at the moment, I just loved riding horses. I couldn’t get my leg high enough to get in the saddle, so I led her up beside a hay bunker, made my way up onto the hay bunker and got in the saddle. And then, as Matt says, “the rodeo ride started”.

     It is funny how things like this happen in slow motion and you remember each move that was made. I didn’t much more than get my seat and she started. She did not want this one legged fat man on her back. She had participated in the pony show and let us take pictures but her day was over.  I pulled her in and she twisted out, she bowed her back, crow hopped and squealed like a wounded pig. And, believe it or not, in the background, I heard… laughter. Yep, laughter! Since no one but my son and I were there, I had no question in my mind who was laughing. She cut a quick spin to the right and unceremoniously dumped me on the ground. I couldn’t hold on through that spin because I couldn’t use that leg to grip her side. And, when she threw me, I landed right on the recently repaired leg. The knee of my jeans were soon soaked with blood. I didn’t do what I wanted to do at the moment. Instead, I gathered her up, got squarely in her face and told her to remember this day because we would have round two and I would be ready for her. Well, that is more or less what I said. The laughter and smirking continued from her fan.  And thus began my relationship with this hard headed little horse that I grew to love and appreciate for being exactly what she was and no more. The relationship would span almost seven years.

Chapter Two

     Kate took to Matt and him to her in quick order. They became inseparable. He would groom and talk and she would listen and stand. She got along with him just fine. She did not get along with other horses very well and that is an understatement. She would boss, squeal and try her best to be the dominate horse no matter where we put her or who we put her up against. I had to give it to her; she was full of try and possessed no give. She didn’t always succeed but she was always in the thick of the mix. The latter were lessons I hoped my son would learn from her.

     Other than her arthritis, Kate seemed quite a healthy horse. The arthritis did become a problem later that limited her somewhat but never got her down. Well, it did get her down on farrier day occasionally. Kate’s knee hurt so bad that at times that she would lie on the ground to have her feet trimmed. A horse has to have a lot of trust to do that and Kate did become trusting. Our farrier, Ron, developed a way to trim her without lifting her foot too high. It did require him to practically stand on his head but he never seemed to mind. That was one of the things I like about Ron, his love for horses trumped his need for money, a lesson others should learn.

     Matt’s relationship with Kate took a temporary step-back one beautiful fall day. We had some friends out for the day and everyone had been riding horses and having fun. Matt had been on Kate. The day was winding down on a good note for everybody. We had taken the saddle and other tack off Kate when Matt said he wanted to ride her bareback. Well, I tried to dissuade him for doing that, as he had never ridden bareback. That was a failure on my part. I used to give lessons and you always start off bareback in order to learn balance. He had learned to hang on and ride but not balance. So, in the famous last words of many before me, I said, “what the heck, go ahead.” It turned out to be another of those days where Kate had decided her day was over, she had played her part well and this particular pony show was over. Matt got on her but she wouldn’t do anything, just stood there with that defiant look in her eye that I had grown accustomed to seeing. So, what is a good Father to do? I smacked her on the butt and off she went, into the sunset at a gallop with the boy hanging on for dear life. Not knowing how to balance, he started listing to starboard, slid off, hit the ground and bounced three times. I stood there with my mouth agape, emotionally flooding over with feelings of guilt like most good Fathers would.

   I picked up Matt, dried tears, caught Kate and made Matt mount back up. This was no small feat but must be done whenever you fall off. Afterwards, I had Jodi, a good friend who was there for the day, ride the wheels off the little mare to teach her the day wasn’t over until we said the day was over. Jodi got the duties that day because even under the circumstances, I didn’t want Kate carrying my extra weight on her knee. We didn’t have any more problems…ever… during riding settings. That was actually a slight. I think Kate learned something that day; her actions could hurt someone dear to her. The pecking order had been established. Matt was the boss and Jennifer, my wife with the big heart for misunderstood animals was second. Me? Well I stood some where in right field doing pirouettes and picking at blades of grass. At least I was acknowledged and in the picture. And, by the way, I did get round two in by riding Kate one day. Surprisingly, we did not have a problem. I would like to think she knew I was one hundred percent this time and didn’t want to test me. But, for all I knew, she could have taken pity on me and didn’t want to hurt me again. You never knew with Kate.

 Chapter Three

          I guess a truce of sorts was reached that day because we never had another issue when it was time to work, ride or be tended to by Farriers or Veterinarians. Kate was always compliant. She would still get that look in her eye but she never followed through. Her relationship with Matt deepened and spread. She turned out to be the horse that I had hoped for when I brought her home.

          Now, I never said the same truce she had with us applied to other horses, dogs, cats or birds. Kate would pin her ears back and squeal at anything moving if it violated her space. Kate’s space included wherever she could see. She would chase all of the above-mentioned animals with an angry eye if they provoked her by coming too close or sometimes just for looking at her. I remember one time she chased a full size coyote that was on the other side of the fence and well away from her but close enough for her to feel her space intruded upon. She reminded me of a blue jay directing traffic at a bird feeder, letting the others know when they had had enough to eat or when they should leave. If there ever was a Napoleonic little horse, it was Kate. Fortunately, other animals caught the wrath of Kate but not humans. With us, she became an easy keeper.

          I have often written about horse personalities and am convinced that each and every one of them has their own unique traits. Some of my loyal readers will know my feelings concerning horses (and other animals) and know my belief that each one is different. They possess gifts, abilities, feelings and intelligence that we do not realize because we, as a race, made a move some centuries ago to put our trust in science rather than the spiritual side of our existence. I am not bad mouthing science but making sure you understand my belief in balance of thought. Sometimes things just are as they are and do not need to be explained.

          I can’t remember the year but Kate was located in a pasture with three other horses behind our house. She was bossing quite well too, thank you very much. Matt would get his lawn chair and walk to the fence. He would take his children’s Bible, which was a gift at birth from his God Parents, with him. Kate would see him and walk to the fence and hang her head as he read bible stories to her. No other horse would intrude on this union. It was her time with her master. The other horses knew Kate and knew better than to get nosy. This is not a normal occurrence in the horse world. One comes, the other’s wanted to know why and they come too. It didn’t matter how long he read, she would hang her head, relax, get that far-away look in her eye and listen to the cadence of his voice. This would happen on a regular basis and she would never fail to come and listen nor tire of the stories. After all these years, I am very thankful that I not only have the picture in my mind but I have one to show you. Thanks for the memories Katie.

 

 Chapter Four

          Early in Kate’s seventh year with us, I noticed some things about her that were troubling me. Sometimes she would stumble where she was normally a sure-footed little mare. Other times, when she was sleeping or deeply relaxing, she would fall to her knees. Horses normally sleep standing up with three legs locked in position and one rear leg cocked upward but still touching the ground. It is not normal for a horse to fall, just doesn’t happen. So I began to watch her more closely.

          When you think something is wrong with a horse, you look for classic signs. Katie did not show any of them. She wasn’t in apparent distress; her respirations, breathing and temperature were normal. Her appetite and water consumption were normal, Her bowels and urine were normal. In other words she appeared to be doing just fine, except she sometimes fell down when sleeping.

I have had a great working relationship with Veterinarians both in my home area and the Lexington area. So, I started making phone calls inquiring about the possibility of horses being diagnosed with narcolepsy. To my surprise I found out that horses could have it just like humans. No one I talked to was convinced that she had it because it only happen when she was already sleeping and never (that I witnessed) at other times. Given that she was apparently healthy otherwise we decided to watch her closely. There was little they could do even if she did have narcolepsy other than say she had it.

          We went through spells during that year when things seemed normal and other times where we would see her stumble or fall while sleeping, a couple of times a day. All other signs were normal. The one day when we were eating dinner, the doors and windows were open and we heard a very loud crash from outside. We thought there had been an accident and everyone looked outside. We couldn’t see anything amiss. No apparent accident, and all the horses were accounted for and grazing. Another one of those unexplainable occurrences that sometime happens, then again, maybe not.

          About three weeks later, it happens once again and once again we went outside to see what had made the noise. Everything looked normal except for Kate. She was barely able to hold her head up and was real wobbly. I went out into the field to check on her and it was quite apparent that she could not see me. She had a small cut on her head and from the way she was acting, she couldn’t see a thing. She wouldn’t blink when I put my finger on her eye and would not focus on anything. Further investigation revealed a big dent in the side of the run-in shed where she had shelter from the weather and sun. She had apparently gone blind, panicked and ran into the shed full speed. It is a wonder she didn’t break her neck. I made a quick call to the Vet and put her in a stall.

   By the time the Vet arrived, Katie was once again acting her old self. She did not show any signs of blindness. We talked about all the symptoms she had been exhibiting and nothing made sense. He thought she may have been spooked by something (like a snake) and darted into the shed, knocking herself loopy. It was possible and I wish that were what happened but it wasn’t. After making sure that she could see, I put her back out and into a pasture by herself. Two days later, it happened again.

          Unfortunately, this would be the last time. I once again called the Veterinarian and he came for another examination. Before he arrived, she had a seizure and trembled violently but for a short period of time. While checking her, she had another. She wasn’t blind but something neurological was going on in the poor girls brain. Given her advancing age, the advice was to put her to sleep. I paid and thanked him and told him I would let him know what I decided later.

   Then, the phone calls started. I consulted with every animal doc I knew and was told the same thing by all. It was time and she could make it worse by hurting herself and suffering the pain or hurting someone else while having a seizure. Something was going on that could not be fixed.

   Well folks, I guess it was time to man up. I had to deliver the news to the two other people that loved this little hard-headed mare deeply that it was time to let her go. The tears flowed freely from everyone. I think this is one of the hardest jobs that a parent can do but it is a job that any parent that encourages their children to include animals in the family has to perform. If you have pets, you will deliver this news eventually. Our yard is dotted with the graves of beloved pets; dogs, cats and turtles. Words have been spoken over all of them and the words have always been heartfelt. This was harder for me. This was my son’s first horse and he grew up with her. I, like my wife and son was devastated.

Chapter Five

          The time was set for the Vet to attend to Kate’s final needs. Decisions had been made and the tears drying. Funny but it seems to me that the tears dry on your face but continue to run in your heart for years if not forever. The emotional attachment invested in our relationships with animals, especially horses is profound. So this part of the ritual is up to me. I am the one to lead her for the last time. I decided to lead her between the barns and groom her one last time. Kate loved the attention and the rhythmic stroke of the brush on her coat. She was attentive to the words I spoke and had that far-away look in her eyes that I had seen so often while she was being read to. I know she felt loved, safe and at home. Chad (the Vet) had arrived while I was talking to her and waited for me to finish before preparing the injections. I said my good-byes full of the absolute belief that death is never the end but a transition for all living things. My faith did not prevent me from burning with hurt, not only for my wife and son but also for me. I would and still do miss this pretty little mare. I appreciate the gifts of smiles, laughter, love and even the exasperation that at times she gifted with me over the years we shared together. I will always cherish the memories.

          Chad administered the shots and shortly, Kate was gone. Chad is a wonderful Vet and always sheds a tear when he has to put an animal down. Today was no different. I appreciate him, his big heart and caring treatment of all animals. After he left. I sat with Kate for a long time, talking and laughing over some of the antics I had seen her pull over the years. I cut off a piece of her mane and tail and kept them separate and returned to the house. And then I wrote a poem. I am not a poet but the words came from somewhere deep inside. Get in a poetic rhythm and follow my heart.

Old Kate

January 13^th, 2005

Black, brown and white,

A tri colored mare

Such a beauty when younger

Made most cowboys stare.

A Father’s Day gift,

Strange as it seems

To a boy barely six

Wearing little man jeans

Twas a lesson to be

Learned it was thought,

By the man called Dad

That for you I was bought.

The lesson was learned

By you very well,

Care for her Kindly

And with pride you will swell.

You read me the Bible,

Combed my coat, mane and tail.

You showed me your love

Everyday without fail.

You cared for my knees

With medicines and lotions.

And worried about me

As you saw my slowed motions.

You grew up that day

The decision was made

To let me go quietly

My memory won’t fade.

So here’s a piece of my tail

To remember me by

On those days when I gallop

Through your mind’s eye.

And a piece of my mane,

Wind blown with braiding

As a reminder of where we have been

And a promise that with God I’ll be waiting.

Richard D. Rowland (Dad)

For Matt

January 21^st, 2005

          Like I said, it came from the heart. I braided the mane and the tail separately and to this day, they reside in this house. Kate’s memory is as fresh today as it was almost seven years ago. And Kate…I finally told your story dear. See you some day.

Copyright 11-26-2011. This story cannot be used in part or whole without the sole consent of the author.